The Sandwich Generation Squeeze: Supporting Kids and Aging Parents Without Losing Your Own Financial Footing
If you’re in your 40s, 50s, or early 60s, chances are you’ve felt the weight of being “in the middle.” You might be helping your teenager apply for college while also coordinating doctor appointments for an aging parent. You're not alone—this stage of life is so common it has a name: the Sandwich Generation.
It’s a term used to describe adults (often women) who are simultaneously supporting both their children and their aging parents—emotionally, physically, and financially. And while this role can be incredibly meaningful, it also brings a unique kind of pressure that can quietly erode your own financial stability if not managed intentionally.
Here are five strategies I regularly share with clients in this exact season of life:
1. Get Clear on Your Boundaries—Financial and Otherwise
Caring for the people you love is noble. But doing so at the expense of your own financial health? That’s a recipe for burnout and long-term regret.
Start by getting clear on what you can give—time, money, emotional bandwidth—and where your limits are. This could mean setting boundaries with adult children who move back home or having candid conversations with siblings about shared caregiving responsibilities.
2. Keep Prioritizing Your Retirement
This is the piece many women in the sandwich generation feel most guilty about. When kids need tuition money and your parents need help with prescriptions or home modifications, it's tempting to pull back on retirement contributions.
But here's the hard truth: There are no scholarships, loans, or government benefits to cover your retirement. Protecting your future is not selfish—it’s smart planning. Even small, consistent contributions now can compound meaningfully over time.
3. Understand Long-Term Care Options—Before It’s Urgent
Many of the women I work with are surprised to learn how expensive long-term care can be, and how little Medicare covers. Start the conversation early with your parents (and your spouse) about preferences, funding options, and insurance.
If a long-term care event does arise unexpectedly, I help clients review options that don’t immediately disrupt their financial plan—whether it's leveraging assets, adjusting spending, or using hybrid insurance products.
4. Have a Family Financial Meeting (Yes, Really)
Money conversations can be uncomfortable—but silence creates confusion, resentment, and missed opportunities. Whether it’s sitting down with your parents to understand their estate plan (or lack thereof), or helping your adult kids learn to manage a budget, proactive communication is key.
These meetings don’t have to be formal. Think of them as ongoing conversations with a focus on shared goals, not judgment. As an advisor, I often help facilitate these discussions—bringing structure, clarity, and an outside perspective that keeps things constructive.
5. Lean on a Financial Team You Trust
This season of life comes with a lot of moving pieces. Having a trusted financial advisor in your corner can make all the difference—someone who can help you juggle saving for retirement, supporting your kids, managing elder care costs, and planning for the unexpected.
I work with many women in the sandwich generation, and one thing I always remind them: You don’t have to do this alone. With thoughtful planning, you can care for the people you love and protect your own financial future.
At the end of the day, being part of the sandwich generation is both a challenge and a privilege. It means you’re deeply invested in the lives around you—but it also means you need support, structure, and a clear plan.
If this season of life sounds familiar, I’d love to connect. Together, we can make sure your finances stay strong, so you can keep showing up for your family—without losing sight of yourself.